Having babies, that is.
Why, do you ask? Is it too many late nights and early mornings? Too many days gone un-showered? Too many nights washing peed bed linens? Too many dollars at the grocery store?
No, nope, nah, and nay. It's this:
It's a hair.
A dark, curly hair.
A dark, curly chest hair.
That I found on my chest.
That's right. Apparently giving birth turns me into a man.
I was prepared for a lot of bodily changes from bearing children, and on the whole I accept them gladly.
Stretch marks? Got 'em.
Saggy belly? Check.
Saggy breasts? Double check.
Circles under the eyes? You mean that isn't mascara? ...Oh, I guess I would've had to have put some on first. Right.
Hormonal imbalances? I'm sorry, I can't answer that question until I've had some chocolate -- dark, with strawberries on the side.
Chest hair? Oh, su-- Wha huh wug???
I've noticed that with each birth, I've collected a few dark hairs in places that are generally considered the province of men. Hairs that were easily pluckable and, really, not all that strange (as you find once you get to know a girl well enough that she'll share these things. Why is it that we'll share all kind of weird details about pregnancy, labor, and delivery and not 'fess up to a few stray hairs?). These I have accepted.
But chest hair?
Uh, no.
If DB decides he wants another baby, he'd better bring up the topic by presenting me with a carte blanche gift certificate for laser hair removal.
Because at this rate, I'll be ushering in Planet of the Apes: Mom Edition before you know it.
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| That's right, work your sexy bad self. |
Um, I've had the problem, too. Only they're dark hairs on my neck. They will literally grow overnight, too. I have to check every day. Ew. (My husband has already promised me laser hair removal when we can afford it; you should commit your hubby, too.)
ReplyDeletechin hairs, the bane of my peri-menopausal existence. ugh. I go nowhere without my Tweezerman tweezers in my purse or suitcase.
ReplyDeleteOkay I was laughing out loud at this post. Oh the joys of post pregnancy. You should commit your husband to pay for laser hair removal.
ReplyDeleteYikes! I can't say that I've found any chest hairs, but that could certainly do it for me! lol I was done 5 years ago, after I had a big medical scare after giving birth to my youngest. I felt done, though, if you know what I mean!
ReplyDeleteI love the design of your blog, btw. Very cute!
For some reason my wordpress profile can't be verified, but I'm troismommy over on Single Dad Laughing. http://troismommy.wordpress.com
This cracks me up!!! I love your humor.
ReplyDelete@BellaMamma & The Bell Family: Yup. Definitely going to ambush him with the laser hair removal question. Soon. Maybe right after finals.
ReplyDelete@MommyMagpie: My hubby thinks I'm strange because I keep tweezers hidden all over the house. If he was female, he'd understand. Then again, if he was female he wouldn't well be my hubby I suppose.
@ Genevieve: Thanks! It might not be the most professional looking blog, but I've worked on it a lot. And I do know that done feeling. It's kind of freeing. =)
@Becky: Thanks!