Sick and Tired. Literally.

Why is it that when we choose to stay up later than normal, something else in our lives chooses to wake us up earlier than normal?

I hit the sack about 12:00 this morning only to discover that, exhausted as I was, I couldn't sleep. So I laid in bed for an hour and finally started to drift off just as Ladybug was waking up to eat. Bless the child. Duly fed and changed, she went right back to bed and so did I. Only, she decided to get up again at 4:30 instead of our agreed upon 8 o'clock. Her pacifier convinced her to sleep for another hour and a half, but since then I've been sitting here on the couch, either feeding her or repeatedly replacing said pacifier to keep her asleep. Although why I should try so hard to keep her asleep when I can't sleep myself I don't rightly know.

And of course, on top of all this, I have some random bug rampaging through my body and gleefully making the most of my over-tired immune system. Oh well.

I've finally learned my lesson, though. For weeks I got frustrated on mornings like this. Now it's more of a stoic acceptance of the facts. Fact One: Ladybug is sort of asleep. Fact Two: I am not asleep. Fact Three: Devin has class so he gets to continue to sleep despite his protestations otherwise. Fact Four: It was my idea to have a baby in the first place.

I'm not entirely certain now why I got the idea in my head. I just did. And when I said, "Devin, I think we should have a baby," he shrugged and said, "Whatever you want, honey; it's your body." Darn right it is! And if I want to completely beat it up, he'll let me do that whenever I want!

A beating worth taking, I suppose. Sometimes I wonder. Fortunately for Ladybug, I spent quite some time uploading family videos to my computer yesterday. The very first one was taken while I was lying in my hospital bed and stuck with more needles and tubes than I wanted to know would fit in my body. Several hours later, we have her first out-of-the-womb movie debut. She was so tiny three months ago! And now she's almost twice her birth weight and discovering that those toes down there really do belong to her. The contrast is astounding and nothing short of miraculous. When I think that a year ago she was made up of two cells, the entire thing becomes mind-bogglingly impossible.

But my darling little beast awaketh, and I really don't want to miss a moment with her, especially an awake-and-pleasant moment. And although I'm fairly certain this post is mostly incoherent rambling, I'll leave it as it is. Proof that there is life after four hours of sleep!